Most of the time, we concentrate on one topic per column. However, there comes a time when so much is stupid and so little is worth 600 words ...

Consider this month's column a clearinghouse on wack mutha%$#&as who deserve a smack, not a full clip.

DEF JAM, VIRGIN and INTERSCOPE RECORDS! Y'all have among the shittiest publicity policy in the industry. From the insanity it took to get a copy of the BEP album, to the legalese you wanted for Six by Seven, Interscope does more to damage its artists than help. Virgin shuts down its publicists before they can start (what up Jasmine, Laura). Def Jam, bastion of independence, now allows too much. Admin assistant Gabrielle Peluso's claim that "artists don't want advances sent," is the most counterproductive and limp-dicked 4080 excuse in a minute. No record = no review = no press = nobody knows your album is coming out (DJ Clue, they're &#@$in' you) = no skrilla! Please post that equation on your ass and send out the goddamned CDs?

JESSE WASHINGTON: You eloquently suggested the operative should "eat a dick," based on criticisms of your publication and the word "ludicrous" attached to your claim that 'Clef pulled on you. Peep a dictionary, Sherlock, nothing said thou spake not true. The idea, however, of a grown public professional publicly announcing such an incident without some involvement of law enforcement professionals is "laughable or hilarious through obvious absurdity or incongruity," the definition therein. Oh, and you still never paid for that Luniz review, you wack bitch!

DOUBLE ALBUMS! Why everybody think they corny ass gotta have a double album? You still end up with the same four or five tolerable songs, just with more filler. Can't nobody do a damned EP no more? Just drop them five songs! Rilly, how many of y'all tryin to drop a Jackson and a Lincoln on some ego isht? Really, artists, save the extra songs and make more albums -- it could give you this wacky thing called "longevity" that people used to know somethin' bout. (Thanks to the 2nd Shooter for that hit).

RAP IN COMMERCIALS! Now, this is not to say we don't love that Sprite Voltron scene, which is (to borrow a line from Lord Finesse), "the hottest thing out since Mercury." But rappin' cartoons, dolls, clothes, hamburgers ... this isht is wack. They can't even hire good rappers since middle Amerikkka can't understand the lyrics. Somebody get Dick Gregory or Jesse somebody to start a boycott on all this McNegrosity.

LL -- the operative told your wack ass to retire from rappin' and you promptly did -- talk about service! Now, go wax your head.

BIZZY BONE FANS! Duh -- the operative liked much of the album! Those of you who heard about the MTV online review and never read it, emailing me complainin' 'bout isht nobody said, read before flying off the handle. 'Til then, stop emailing, ya illiterate idjits!!

TUPAC FANS, especially Atlanta's Jeter and Tacoma's Ghazanfar Halepota! The operative hates Tupac, is glad he's dead, has numerous times metaphorically claimed to being the triggerman, and still will! 'Pac, for all his potential and talent, was part of the problem. A vainglorious thug, caught on his own ego and his own image, one that his upbringing did not support, shook one, halftime crook, and all out buster. You have your opinion, and Damage Control has a different one -- get over it, wear a helmet, shut the hell up. 'Nuff said like Stan Lee.

Anybody we missed, hang tight. It ain't over.