1/17/03 12:30 PM PST: I got fired today.

I actually knew last night -- I'd been dragging my feet on some things, since I saw blood in the water all week. The carnival atmosphere at the office reminded me of the dying days of the dot coms, when the soon-to-be-unemployed amble around the aisles of commerce, chatting or singing like troubadours. I was still working at 7PM when my access to all the server tools was cut off -- crafty to wait until 10PM eastern, when almost no one would be on, but they couldn't count on my overtime presence -- and then I knew I was gonna catch the hammer. I took a screen shot, sent around a pre-emptive "auf wiedersen" email, and started packing. Luckily, the Big Six (my beloved Stunticon Monte Carlo) is parked right downstairs on Thursday nights for easy post-karaoke access. So I trundled down my poseable VF-1s and my meager printouts and kept on moving.

My supervisor Jenna is a nighthawk like me, and as I stopped in the office at midnight, she was online. We shared some bonhomie and she talked me into showing up on time and playing nice with others. That went okay -- I shook some hands and smiled nice for the cameras, keeping most of the horrible and terrifying secrets I learned about those people to myself. Luckily for them, my indifference will cloud the memories into nothingness, given a few weeks. I know for a fact that one of the female members of my team ratted me out to her, saying my "negative" attitude was a problem, and I'm mostly certain it was Mai, the one I'd spoken to more frequently, but in a spate of Miracleman-esque aplomb and sangfroid, I looked her in the eye with no ill will. I stopped ostracizing everybody, gave 'em a hearty chorus of Wayne Newton's "Danke Schoen" and shook the spot.

I'm actually surprisingly chipper about it. Money's not a real issue for a few months, with unemployment, and AOL was finding every possible way to piss on the employees short of, well, pissing on 'em. Now I have time to write and get pitches off and really make a go of my comic book and fiction writing, which is what I really want anyway.

Soon. For the next week and a half I sleep.

Then, clear up my discrepancies with USC, send out some pitches, and proceed full steam towards universal conquest, muahahahaha!

Everything considered, I'm amazed to be so giddy and upbeat -- I sang like a madman at karaoke last night, and had a really good time with it -- and perhaps, just possibly, the glimmer of hope I've been doubting could be real.

But let's not get ridiculous.

"I recall ... Central Park in fall ..."