… you’re one of the “syndicated” readers I have who are (know it or not) experiencing the wonder of RSS during my yearlong sabbatical from social networking. Despite the fact that you are on Facebook (or wherever else, but that’s the one that leaps to mind), I am not. I left an automatic setting to seed my random rantings there from my actual blog, where I broadcast unabated. I’m in your living room/phone/cubicle without ever leaving wherever I am. Cool.

That said, I am also aware of conversations happening around these writings, conversations that I am not taking a part in. Why? Well, as you could find out easily if Ping.fm’s shortcut URLs lasted longer than Lindsay Lohan’s sobriety, I’m still in my year-long self-imposed exile from social networking and, to be honest, I’ve learned some things.

• I miss Twitter. A lot. I’ve come to get a gang of news from the 126 subscriptions in my Google Reader feed (which feeds my linkroll on the web and on my mobile site) but the immediacy of Twitter, the pithy interactions with my people like Ja Bir or my wife or Craig or Ritch or Encyclopedia Black or Chinedum even Tax Hitler (also known as “Senor Sidekick”) … I won’t lie, I miss it.
• I don’t miss Facebook. At all. Facebook’s mobile site went through more alterations than Heidi Montag (yes, I’m keeping up with even celebrity gossip … kind of ), taking away the most useful functionality points (remember press “4″ for new notifications?) while becoming more of a beyotch about privacy and generally annoying me even without my presence. Moreover, I’ve seen and participated in some of the dumbest conversations (Roman Polanski leaps to mind) on Facebook, stuff that I’d have been embarrassed to be seen in were it Usenet or some more civilized locale. I won’t abandon the site when I come back, but it won’t be my “home” online.
• Laugh if you want … I kind of miss MySpace. The same people were closer, had less fleeting interactions, had less privacy worries while having more of a public platform. I’m just saying.
• I don’t need to have a conversation on LinkedIn unless it’s about money. I love that.
• No, I don’t miss Friendster or wish I’d have enhanced myself on Bebo, Hi5 or anywhere else “ghetto” like that.

More lessons learned when I get back, I’d wager. I just wanted to apologize if you’re trying to interact with me and it seems like I’m ignoring you. I’m not really there, you see. I’m just a pigment of your emancipation. Or a fragment of your intoxication. Something like that. Work it out for yourself, I’ll be back in four more months to discuss it.

Playing (Music): “Dynamite” remix by Taio Cruz feat. Jennifer Lopez

- I have attended professional, business meetings where “banjo solo” was an agenda item.

- Somehow, I managed not to run screaming from the room or erupt into violence. I feel the displays of gratitude for this show of restraint have been paltry.

- When I was writing the commentary track for the July 15th Buy Pile, I got so worked up about Pietro and Kal-El that I forgot to note something hilarious. The girlfriend of Quislet, the retail drone who works Wednesday evenings, invited my wife and me to see her recital … for her pole dancing class. “I can attest to her gravity defying skills!” Quislet said enthusiastically, just happy that some poor deluded Alicia Masters-styled woman would even love him. It happens too early for me to get out of standing Friday appointments, but it’s interesting to know.

- Speaking of comics, I was wearing my Professor Zoom t-shirt the other day and realizing that despite being a huge fan of the idea behind a few characters and properties (The Flash, Superman, Thanos, et cetera) I haven’t been moved to spend money on them in a while. Also, I need a new Professor Zoom shirt, as mine is starting to fade.

- I have a strange love/hate relationship with intoxicants, trying to balance my need for entertainment against the real dangers and impediments caused by that brand of escapism. I like it when people drink (or smoke or whatever). They amuse me. I don’t like it when people who drink (or smoke or whatever) become a problem. That’s tedious.

- I have a hard time spelling the word “necessary.” If I’m in a hurry and can’t check myself, I’ll avoid using it altogether. I was a spelling bee champ in elementary, and I’m becoming a way worse speller (and user of grammar all around, in every day life) the older I get. I almost care.

- Every time I start to get on board and say, “Okay, Nicki Minaj might be all right as a musician,” (her verse on Sean Kingston cut is a bit Lil Kim-ish, but still okay, and I like most of “Your Love”) I hear something weird, like her verse on Trey Songz’ “Bottoms Up,” which is just not entertaining, or “Massive Attack,” which made my ears want their money back (and I heard it streamed). I get the feeling if Lady Gaga’s talent and brain were transplaned into Nicki Minaj’s body, the gestalt could take over the world (while the Nicki’s brain/Gaga body creature would just be some weird girl at the karaoke bars that people try not to make eye contact with). Also, the first gestalt (not the weird one) might try to make out with my wife. I’m just saying.

- On a similar note … even after all that trash talk I did, I’ll admit that I like “Find Your Love” by Drake. He sings more than four notes, and he doesn’t rap at all, plus I heard Kanye produced it (I like most of Kanye’s work). I like it, so he’ll probably never do anything like it again.

- I’m using an RSS parser on my mobile website that only parses 2,000 characters of whatever it reads. If anybody knows an RSS-parser for the web that’ll take full contents of a feed, feel free to holler, I’d sure appreciate it.

- Speaking of RSS, that’s one of the axes (plural of “axis?” “Axii?” Grrr …) upon which my complicated relationship with Google rotates. On one hand, they drive me nuts screwing up things that worked well (FTP access for Blogger) while promoting the evils of cloud computing (Android phones) and screwing with privacy and stuff they could stay out of (Buzz, anything that’s not search or ad related). On the other hand, Gmail’s a great backup (I am worried it knows too much), Analytics rocks my world (again worried they keep too much data) and RSS-powered Reader’s one of the best things in the world (although, admittedly, it knows what I read and like). It’s a hard balance, one I especially note cursing out Google for some cloud-related foible … through a shared note on Google Reader. Oh the compromises we make.

- Ditto Apple. Love Macs. Love iPods (classic). Hate iPhones, don’t care about iPads and find iPod Touches don’t do enough. That antenna fiasco was a nightmare even for me, and I use a Nokia smartphone.

A close friend suggested I jailbreak an iPhone, and I retorted, “I would, but a company once taught me to value things that ‘just work.’ Jailbreaking is contrary to that philosophy.” A mobile device that doesn’t work as a hard drive, preposterous …

- My hatred for Micro$oft in all its repulsive tentacled forms remains monolithic and unswerving.

- My favorite quote right now? “You don’t say, ‘good luck,’ you say, ‘don’t give up,’” from “The Fire” by John Legend and the Roots. Don’t give up. Let’s go!

Playing (Music): “Cold War” Wondamix by Janelle Monae

Given how much time I spent developing my case against cloud computing and talking about Google and their momma, I suppose I shouldn’t have been too surprised when I saw this …

Google will no longer allow FTP publishing on its Blogger service beginning March 26.

Hh. What a coincidence. I use FTP to publish both of my blogs (including this one), through Google’s Blogger service (I started last year, after resisting blogging engines for a long time and only using MySpace’s blog because I used to be very active there). I set up a client site and even my wife’s blog that way, because I believe people should run their own servers (and I’m no fan of Google’s hosting).

That said, I like lots of things about Google. The search engine’s top notch, the Google Reader has helped me organize my info gathering (and sharing it, as seen on the Hundred and Four pages). Their efforts to get further into my life, however …

So now they’re striking back. Oh, sure, it’s likely not a personal move against me — I’m not that much of a narcissistic megalomaniac to think they spotlighted me for this — but the time and energy I’m gonna have to put into integrating Tumblr or (heaven forbid) Wordpress into my own site … gah, it makes my sphincter tighten.

Yes, I appreciate the irony of having a cloud-based link feed (which is as much a set of bookmarks for me as anything else) and posting this “stop hitting me, Google” blog through Google’s blogger engine. Such is life in the future — wrapped in irony and smothered by circumstance. Another project for my disturbingly brief weekend work time …

Playing (Music): “Jump” by Paul Anka from his Rock Swings project

NOTE: Since this blog is automatically imported into my Facebook page, I apologize if you comment on it and I don’t respond, as I am taking a sabbatical from social networking for 2010. So me not responding is not personal, I just won’t see the comments … until 2011. Maybe. Also including this disclaimer on blogs, but you’re welcome to go to the blog itself and speak your mind, as I may look there …